Tuesday, July 5, 2016

The Tyranny of Agreement

The phrase 'tyranny of agreement’ came to mind as I reflected on the conditions and expectations people impose on one another in relationships of all kinds – parental, friend, marriage, partner, professional, etc.   The expectation for agreement becomes a form of tyranny I feel, restricting true freedom and honest expression.  It is imposed often unconsciously, with a false belief that it will bring greater security and peace, through huddling together and agreeing on ‘how things are’.  In reality the opposite is true.  

The need for agreement depletes the life force moving within us and within our relationships, draining us of true presence and honest expression.  A need for agreement reflects a more fearful, externally oriented way of being, one in which we give our power away to things outside of ourselves.  Instead we can harness our true inner power and peace, and move from our inner authority in freedom and honest expression!  This is the graceful ‘heart and soul’ path that we can foster within ourselves and with others.  Can we release all neediness for agreement, and instead rest confidently in our own experience, supporting unconditional acceptance, freedom, and honest expression for all?


If we are to live out the highest vision of unconditional love, peace, and well-being on earth (we can be this!), we must gently release ourselves and each other from the chains of imposed agreement.  We must allow ourselves to tune to what feels true and resonant within us, and live out our own honest expression and expansion.  We will then honour this same freedom for others.  This is the art of being present and honest in our lives.  When we love and accept ourselves without condition, we move into a realm of total self-responsibility.   This then releases an egoic need for agreement and dissipates old patterns of blame, coercion, manipulation, control, betrayal, and violation of ourselves and others.   When we honour our own alignment and true expression, we foster compassion, gentle acceptance, self-responsibility, freedom, and broader understanding within ourselves and with others.


We can practice this inner alignment and freedom, and release others from responsibility for our peace, happiness and fulfillment.  We recognize this is an ‘inside job’.  We know that our well-being is our own responsibility, and that we can cultivate it through “right relationship” with ourselves. 

Right relationship” means:

  • We practice loving, accepting and forgiving ourselves.
  • We listen to our own inner guidance, and stay ‘in the flow’ of our life.
  • We honour our own feelings and needs, and commit to our personal fulfillment.  We then become more sensitive to the feelings and needs and fulfillment of others.
  • We choose to let go of blame, criticism, judgement, manipulation, control, and simply become more aware of when we may still be using these strategies.
  • We are present with and learn from our life experience.  We allow ourselves to heal and evolve from the inside out.
  • We express ourselves honestly, and know how to ask for what we want in life.
  • We support what is true for ourselves in any moment, and support this honesty and freedom for others.
  • We release ourselves and others from the ‘need’ to agree, to be the same, to look/talk/think the same.  We don’t require ourselves or others to deny our own truth, preferences, and choices, but support the highest vision of freedom and truth for all!
  • We value the diversity of the human experience, and recognize that we all share similar needs for well-being, peace and fulfillment.  We value freedom and autonomy for all.  We see beyond the physical, to deeper understanding of emotional and spiritual truths.
  • We understand that our highest good is aligned with the highest good of all.  We invest in win-win solutions and approaches that honour all equally.  We no longer choose to invest in strategies that deplete, control, or violate others. 
  • We take total self-responsibility and practice an unconditional love and acceptance with ourselves and others. We release old fear-based patterns of judgement, criticism, blame, coerced agreement, repression, manipulation, control, and violation of ourselves and others.


This is the dawning of a new way of being on earth : )  One of equality, right relationship, self- responsibility, and true freedom and highest good for all!  This new way of being will invite us to release old fear-based patterns where we’ve given our power away to external forces, and to foster our inner alignment and honest expression.  As we enter into this way of being more fully, we can also benefit from teachings that assist us in honest communication, such as Marshall Rosenberg’s powerful Non-Violent Communication teachings: https://www.cnvc.org/ which have helped so many around the world.

Honour your own inner alignment and honest expression friends.  Let go of any need to agree with, or seek agreement with others, and expand into total truth and freedom.  We can create a new earth of humans who cultivate broader awareness, unconditional love and acceptance, self-responsibility, honest expression, and right relationship.  Although life is not about perfection, if we hold this highest vision in our hearts, we will become that which we intend.


As we release the tyranny of agreement we open into a more empowered way of being and relating together.  We open up to being truly alive, and loving each other in respectful, unconditional ways, and supporting each others highest good and fulfillment!
Enjoy this path to freedom and peace friends, inside and out.